New Words

1.  Blamestorming:  a discussion of why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

2.  Seagull Manager:  a manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

3.  Mouse Potato:  the on-line, wired generation’s version of couch potato.

4.  SITCOM:  Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What a Yuppie couple gets when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the children.

5.  Swipeout:  A debit or credit card rendered useless because the magnetic strip has been worn away by overuse.

6.  Irritainment:  TV shows and media spectacles that are annoying but you can’t stop watching them.

7.  Percussive Maintenance:  the fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work.

8.  404:  Designation for someone who is clueless.  From the WWW error message “404 Not Found.”

9.  Generica:  Features of towns and areas that are the same no matter where one is, such as fast-food joints, strip malls, and subdivisions.

10.  Ohnosecond:  The length of time during which you realize you just made a mistake, such as hitting the SEND button too soon.

How Old Are You?

How many of these do you remember?

1.  Blackjack chewing gum

2.  Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water

3.  Candy cigarettes

4.  Soda pop machines that dispensed bottles

5.  Cafes with tableside juke boxes

6.  Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers

7.  Party telephone lines

8.  Newsreels before the feature movie

9.  P.F. Flyers

10. Butch wax

11. Telephone numbers with letter prefixes

12. Peashooters

13. Howdy Doody

14. 45 RPM records

15. S&H Green Stamps

16. Metal ice cube trays with levers

17. Mimeograph stencils

18. Blue flashbulbs

19. 3-in-1 oil

20. Beanie and Cecil

21. Roller skate keys

22. Cork popguns

23. A&W drive ins

24. Studebakers

25. Wash tub wringers

If you remembered 0-5, you’re still young; 6-10, you’re getting older; 11-15, don’t tell your age; 16-25, you’re older than dirt.

Celebration

ROCK CHALK JAYHAWK, KU !!

No. 1

In 1997, NEWSWEEK magazine published a page of predictions made over the years by various people. A few examples:

Everything that can be invented has been invented. (Charles H. Duell, US Commissioner of Patents, 1899)

The horse is here to stay, but the automobile is only a novelty–a fad. (A president of the Michigan Savings Bank advising Horace Rackham–Henry Ford’s lawyer–not to invest in the Ford Motor Company in 1903. Rackham ignored the advice, bought $5,000 worth of stock, and several years later sold it for $12.5 million.)

Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau. (Irving Fisher, professor of economics, Yale University, October 17, 1929.) 

Computers in the future may…perhaps only weigh 1.5 tons. (Popular Mechanics magazine, forecasting the development of computer technology, 1949.)

We don’t like their sound. Groups of guitars are on the way out. (DECCA Records rejecting the Beatles, 1962.)

There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in their home. (Kenneth Olsen, president and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977) 

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The Calendar…

On Thursday, March 29, 1962, Jack Paar hosted NBC’s “Tonight” show for the final time.

On Wednesday, March 30, 1842, Dr. Crawford W. Long first used ether during a minor operation.

On Monday, March 30, 1964, the original version of “Jeopardy” aired on NBC.

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Signs, signs, everywhere signs…

In a Laundromat: Automatic washing machines–Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.

In a department store: Bargain basement upstairs.    

Notice in the window of a health food shop: Closed due to illness.

On a conference bulletin board:  For anyone who has children and doesn’t know it, there is a day care on the first floor. 

Notice on a farmer’s fence post:  The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges.

On a repair shop door:  We can repair anything. (Please knock hard on the door–the bell doesn’t work.) 

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Tee shirts…

VENI, VEDI, VISA…I came, I saw, I did some shopping!

First things first, but not necessarily in that order.

If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving is not for you.

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Hello world!

Welcome to Assorted Bytes, a blog that will be characterized by what the title indicates–a collection of brief observations, opinions, and maybe a tale or two.